What ifs

I had a chance to reconnect with a friend from my UT days recently. I heard her interviewed on NPR last summer; the program was about Forensic Anthropology, so of course I had to drive slowly to make sure I heard all of it before I reached my destination.

Her voice sounded the same, and they identified her as "Dr...." so I knew she'd taken her book learnin' farther than I had. I was thrilled to hear her name, to hear her accolades and I had to assume that she was doing well. I had a few minutes to myself last night and decided to Google her (what did we ever do before Google???). I sent her an e-mail, and she replied. I hope we can keep in touch; she's someone that I've thought of frequently--someone that I should have stayed in touch with. Of course, that led me down the slippery slope of "what ifs."

Let me start by saying that I love my life, and if changing one thing meant not meeting Patrick, which then in turn means no Noah, then I wouldn't change a thing. I still have a tinge of regret, though, of not staying true to what I went to UT for. For not realizing that I was grasping at straws, and at a friend that turned out to not be true. For not realizing that what I was doing (moving off campus, not being able to concentrate 25 hours a day on school) was STUPID.

I understand we have to fall on our ass from time to time to learn a lesson, but this is a particularly painful lesson, because Forensic Anthropology is still a huge passion of mine. I thought I was cleaning the slate a couple years ago & sold most of my books...I wish I had those books back. Even though I know that right now that's not where my life is, there's a part of me that wants it to be.

So, I hope to stay in touch with this friend, and who knows--when Noah is older, when Patrick finishes his Graphic Design degree, maybe we can look at the possibility of me picking up Forensic Anthropology again.