Saturday, March 05, 2011

Worst Come-On Line EVER

I was reminded by a friend today of the worst come-on line ever.

My two friends and I had set out for the Strip, to have a little fun on a Friday (Saturday?) night. We were at a table at an alcohol-friendly establishment, enjoying the festivities, when we were approached by a man. I remember him being old--and by old, I mean, probably in his 40s. We were in our mid-20s, so the simple fact of him being 40ish was creepy enough. But no, it really does get better.

This guy comes to our table, and I had already noticed that he smelled...weird. Now, I don't make it a habit to smell strangers, but I just caught of whiff and it was just a little off. So, Strike 2.

He hangs around, trying to start some small talk, and it goes like this:

"Hey, if anyone asks you what my name is, do you know what to tell them?"

And me, not being afraid to offend Stinky Old Man, said something probably like, "I don't really care."

Stinky was not only old and odd-smelling, but undeterred, and continued on:

"Milk. Do you know why?"

Me, again: "I really don't care."

"Cuz Milk does a body good."

Seriously. I'm not making this up. He actually said that.

So, if any of you are out there, looking for a good come-on line, this isn't it.

Worst come-on line ever.